While I sit here taking into consideration my many pastimes and interests, there is one that rises above the rest, one extra ordinary fixation that I treasure and love above all the others. It is the one thing that I always adore even through the difficult and frustrating times, the one I can always turn to and the only activity that I can’t live without. This is the fascination that gives me joy and something to dream about. It always forces me to strive for improvement, to constantly perfect and develop my craft. It gives me pride in myself and my talents and gives me confidence for other areas of my life. I am at all times learning from it and I forever find it in new styles and forms that I can discover and explore. There is nothing in the world like it. My one true enthusiasm and passion in life merely being theater. I love every part of the industry; the singing, the dancing, the improv, even speech/debate… but my key and adored passion; drama. I love to act and perform for many reasons, but there are some specific features that make it truly fulfilling.
One part of theater that I love is the often unobtainable chance to become someone else and take on another persona. At the surface you are a child playing dress up, but underneath it is so much more. Not only do you wear different clothes, but along with them you wear a different person. You wear their thoughts and their manner. Your voice is no longer yours, but becomes theirs. Outlooks on life can be reversed when their mind fills yours, and what they believe, you believe also. If they love and you hate, then your heart will fill with love and the hate will be gone. If you love and they hate, then their hate pushes the love from your being and overtakes your very soul. Forgetting your family and your life, you fall into the world of your character. No longer are you yourself, only them. And then the curtain falls and rises and you stand in front of a cheering audience, yourself once again.
Another trait that I love about theater is that you can learn skills for life. Applying rules of theater to our world is so simply and effectively accommodating. Shakespeare’s immortal words rang true when he said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts.” I try to look at my life as though I am just a player on stage. I have a script in front of me that says what is to be done, but how I present the given is my choice. When I look at a script I know that there are hundreds of different ways to express the lines, and I get to decide which way I will communicate the words. The freedom to express any way that I wish is so refreshing, which is why I live this way in my life, thus always choosing to handle situations the way that I desire. When I realized this, I grew as an actress and also I grew as a person. I know now that if I live my life forever as if on a stage, I will never be unfulfilled, and my life will always be complete to the fullest extent of its capability. A great man once told me “You choose what kind of day you have, so make the right choice.” And it’s true. Theater has helped me learn this.
There is yet another great aspect of theater that makes me love it all the more. And that is the gift to make people experience emotion through my performance. When an audience laughs or cries because of my acting, it is the most rewarding experience that you can imagine. The ability to make some one laugh or cry is so powerful that it is almost unbelievable and to know that as a result of my performance someone has been touched, is the most incredible sensation. I feel accomplished, as though what I have done was good and was significant to some one. I love knowing that I have either made some one happy, or communicated to them comprehensible sadness. The relationship between actor and audience is extremely powerful for without one there cannot be the other, and thus the relationship is greatly dependant on communication and cooperation. When the relationship is equal, it results in a phenomenal experience that is more magical than anything else I’ve ever known.
The one last aspect I love is one that makes me cherish theater above all else. It simply being that through the theatrical arts and through performing, I can express myself in countless ways that are inaccessible away from the stage. I can become anyone I want to be and there is no limit to my creativity. I can be a young Norwegian princess or a milk maid, a goddess or an evil witch, a heartbroken widow, an enticing dancer, a sultry movie star… wherever my imagination takes me. The freedom to follow my dreams and be whatever I want to be is beyond belief. I can show the audience whatever I want them to see, illustrate to them who I am, who I desire to be, who I can become.
So there it is; my true passion in life. Ever since I was a little girl it has been my dream to one day be a part of the performing arts. It all started out with the dream of being a country singing sensation, and that soon turned into wanting to be the next Britney Spears, followed shortly afterward by the infamous vision of one day starring on Broadway. When I began to actually act and perform in real shows, I realized that theater was more than just something I wanted to be a part of; it was something I had to be a part of. When I am not part of a production I feel as though a part of me is missing. The feelings that come with being in a show; the excitement, the tension, the effort, the endless rehearsing… I live for them all. Working for hours on end, losing all social freedoms, unvarying nagging and constantly striving for more improvement… the parts of theater that drive most actors insane only strengthen me and drive me harder. I strongly believe that acting and performing are the paths that I will follow in my life and for doing so I will always be content and happy. Quoting my cherished hero once again to conclude my composition, “To be or not to be, that is the question.” And in this case, I definitely want to be.